Widely regarded as one of the deadliest combat aircraft on earth, the F/A-18 Hornet is a state-of-the-art front-line fighter aircraft capable of a level-flight speed of Mach 1.6 and wielding up to 13,700 pounds of armaments including Sidewinder missiles, multiple air-to-ground weapons and a six-barrel rotary cannon with 520 rounds of 20mm ammunition internally mounted in the nose.

The pigeon is a docile, slow-witted bird that regularly encounters difficulty in getting to a discarded Twistie before a seagull does. Like the F/A-18 Hornet, the pigeon will often be seen flying in formation. Unlike the F/A-18 Hornet, the pigeon can also be seen served as a main meal in well-reviewed restaurants.

As creatures of the air, the pigeon and the F/A-18 Hornet twin-engine fighter/attack aircraft have long been natural enemies. With incompatible lifestyles and powerful territorial instincts, the two will immediately engage each other in mortal combat at first sight.

Owing to their vastly different habitats, however, the paths of the pigeon and the F/A-18 Hornet rarely cross, thus making such violent confrontations extremely rare. The pigeon tends to dwell under bridges, in abandoned houses and along window ledges while the F/A-18 Hornet prefers war zones and the upper atmosphere above 36,000 ft.

Extensive research reveals only two recorded incidents of a pigeon coming into direct conflict with an F/A-18 Hornet.

The first took place on July 13, 2004 in protected airspace above the south-eastern provinces of Afghanistan when an F/A-18 Hornet returning from a reconnaissance mission collided with a pigeon at an altitude of 1700 ft. (estimated). At the moment of impact the aircraft was flying at a speed of Mach 1.3. The pigeon was also flying at a speed of Mach 1.3, but only immediately following the moment of impact. The pigeon did not survive the encounter.

The second incident occurred on August 21, 2003 at the Whiteman Air Force Base in Missouri, USA when an F/A-18 Hornet crushed a pigeon under one of its wheels while taxi-ing into a maintenance hangar. It is unknown why the pigeon did not take evasive action, but it is believed it may have been momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by the sound of a mechanic opening a packet of Twisties. On this occasion, the pigeon also did not survive.

The nature of the outcome in both these documented encounters - that is, that contact between an F/A-18 Hornet and a pigeon will most likely result in the pigeon coming off second-best - are entirely consistent with the results of our recent observational study, which has been validated as the third recorded encounter between an F/A-18 Hornet and a pigeon.

This incident occurred at Flinders St train station during a low-altitude flyover of an F/A-18 Hornet, an event arranged as part of the festivities surrounding a nearby motor car race informally referred to as "the Grand Prix".

At the time the observation began, the pigeon was comfortably nestled amidst the steel rafters of platform 7 and the F/A-18 Hornet was still several miles away.

It need be noted at this point that the pigeon appeared oblivious to the impending flyover, despite having been exposed to the same amount of publicity about the event as all the other pigeons, all of whom were noticeably absent from the station. It is possible the pigeon may have failed to remember the flyover owing to it being too deeply engaged in monitoring people purchasing Twisties at the platform kiosk.

Thus, when the F/A-18 Hornet performed its flyover at a speed of Mach 1.3 and at an approximate height of 42 feet the effect of the sudden burst of engine noise upon the pigeon was comprehensive.

Startled, the pigeon immediately left its perch and flew directly into the plexiglass of the nearest vending machine. With the noise of the F/A-18 Hornet still very much in evidence, the pigeon then flew blindly across the tracks - narrowly missing the 2.49 from Pakenham - and attempted to nest in a woman's hat.

With the F/A-18 Hornet now gone and the noise rapidly receding, the pigeon then performed a haphazard circle of the platform before returning to its original perch.

Once the pigeon regained its composure and had put all of its feathers back in place it then carefully considered its options. It could either: (1) launch an immediate retaliatory strike on the F/A-18 Hornet; or (2) hold back and wait for a more opportune time when the pigeon would have the advantage.

On this occasion the pigeon chose the latter strategy. This was clearly with the hope that by opting for a properly co-ordinated attack on the F/A-18 Hornet the pigeon would catch its natural adversary off-guard. It would also allow the pigeon sufficient time to prepare for the assault, which would consist chiefly of working out at the gym and loading up on Twisties, which are a good source of carbs.